My rational side doesn't really understands it. But I must confess I feel envy and jealousy for happy couples... Not in a negative way of course, I feel happy for them. But still...
Does it have something to do with Valentine's day? Maybe. Though, it's actually about a specific guy I kind of have a crush on. I believed I was over him... I guess I was wrong.
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| Goodbye, my almos lover, a Fine Frenzy. |
Still I don't understand my feelings, I met him during my holidays. We loved each other only for a night.
He recently said he remembers my fingertips across his skin, my singing voice and my...
I have been going on a few dates lately and, with him, I actually felt a connection, do you know that feeling of wanting to get to know someone better? I do believe it was a reciprocal emotion. Which only makes it all that much more disappointing that we never had an actual chance to do so as we live in different countries,
We kind of kept in touch for a while, he charmed me with his seducing words and his broad smile, and I used to record some songs for him.
Now he has another lover, another boyfriend. I do think it's the best though, I don't believe in long distance relationships and I wish them both the best. But yet... Is it normal the sorrow and envy I am experiencing? That I wake up in the morning with the memory of him on the back of my mind. So... He is gone and yet I am hunted and I bet he's just fine...
Anyway. I know everything will be alright, at least eventually. I guess the bright side to this is that I got to contemplate and accept some emotions. Literary everybody thinks of me as a very cheerful person, I am. But not constantly. In fact I have always struggled when it comes to negative emotions. I don't think repressing or ignoring them is healthy so... Well I am working on it. :)
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