I Like...

I like to go out when it´s raining. Very few people are outside and the ones who are hurry the hell up to get home. Muffled by the rain´s own music, I can sing as loud as I feel. If it´s a warm summer storm I leave the umbrella home and I sing and dance till I´m soaking wet and blissfully exhausted.

I like going to the beach at fall. When the sun´s bright and warm but it doesn´t burn and, if you listen carefully, you can hear spirit´s whispers in the wind. I love walking by the seashore, sometimes for hours, collect seashells and meditate by a campfire. 

I like herbs and flowers. To fill my home with them, smell them, make natural crowns, healing and shooting teas and ointments. I like to see them grow and, strangely, I feel like they keep me company...

Dancing in the Rain, by Amira Rahim

I like dreams. All of them: daydreaming, lucid dreams and even nightmares. I like to re-tell my dreams, dissect them and draw meaning out of them. 

I like those special nights with the coven. I like the intimacy a dark room lit only by candles, a warm drink and our small yet close circle provides. Usually guarded by the foll moon it´s a night of guaranteed gossip, laughter, secrets and magic. 

I like kisses. Romantic, passionate kisses. The special ones, those kisses that freeze time and make your mind fuzzy. Long kisses that are sweet and acid, soft and rough but always warm. 

Even if it sounds crazy I like missing you, and him and he... I miss those private moments, I miss those first times... I miss the way I used to look at you in the eyes. 

I like to think new first times to miss will come... Maybe one will stay and make me feel home... 

My First Broken Spell.

Guilt, what a terrible feeling. 

If we feel guilty it must mean that we did something wrong. something we are ashamed of. But also that we repent and that we are willing to set things right.

I know I should not have given him the love potion, it was an act of despair. And though he was with me, I could see his mind wasn't there... I'm not entirely sure it was my magic's doing or if it all was going to happen anyways. What I did know is that it was all I wanted but not like that. 

Midnight Snow Songs, by Leonid Afremov

So, on the solstice night, I confessed it all to my sisters. And despite them being incredulous, mad and a little shocked at me for what I did they helped me cast a counter-spell and were very supportive, I am really blessed for having them. 

And I also came clear to him about the whole potion business. He knows I am a witch but he definitely was not expecting that. He obviously got really mad and probably felt betrayed. He has been keeping his distance ever since... I miss him and I hope I can see him again soon. 

I feel sad, but I'm focusing on the little things that make me happy and relying on my family at the moment. 

At least I don't feel guilty anymore. 

Happy holidays everyone!

The Forbidden Potion.

So I did it.

I offered the love elixir, hidden in some homemade chocolates. While he consumed it I looked at him in the eye and kissed him afterwards.

This raises many questions. Was it immoral to do what I did? Would he have loved me anyways without using magic and potions? How would he react if he ever found out?

Purple Wild Flowers, by Pol Ledent.

To be completely honest I am not used to casting this type of spells. Let alone preparing love potions. Don't get me wrong as a witch I am familiar with summoning and setting the protective Circle and I am acquainted with purifying and cleansing rituals, like the ones I host for on the solstices and equinoxes or the monthly re-energizing coven ritual that we do with every full moon phase. 

But I hardly ever perform self-gain based spells. 

Well on my defense I'll say he and I are already kind of dating. Then, I started developing stronger feelings. So I decided to ask him out in a proper formal way. He refused, as he has "emotional issues", whatever that means. But said he doesn't want to lose me. However, I decided to stop seeing him for my own sake. It seemed the wisest thing to do. But he charmed his way back into my life with sweet words and indulging memories, thus arousing old fantasies of a future in common.

So I said to myself "What the hell?", we had dinner, made love and promised to see each other again. But this time I could not let his insecurities gamble with my heart, I am a witch after all, so I waited to the crescent moon, got my rose quartz ready, searched for the Venus' seal, bought the ingredients, set the ritual and blended the potion.  While I was casting the spell, my hands started burning. Not literally, but the strong feeling of heat was unmistakable. That was happening to me for the first time, but I carried on and went to bed. During the following days, I was not myself at all. I acted completely out of impulse, burst into laughter or started singing out of the blue. (Ok, the last one isn't that weird on me, but this time it was different. Trust me.) Even when I was consciously making the effort to keep up appearances, I could clearly feel the eyes of people on me. Was I going crazy? Also, I felt happy, nervous, powerful, afraid and free all at once. 

Right before tempting him with my little present I felt great. Immensely confident. Even my voice changed! And once it had touched his lips and entered his system I felt a great urge to kiss him, and so I did. After that all my previous worries banished. All that "how am I going to make him love me?" doubt disappeared and in its place, I felt peace. He didn't leave me off of his side for the rest of the evening and cuddled me up all night till we fell asleep. 

I hope his love gradually awakes as I asked for in my spell:

"With every kiss, 

with every night we spent together..."

And I really hope I did the right thing here. 

Wish me luck... He hasn't pledged his eternal love to me (yet) but regardless I feel happy. 

Confusion, Secrets and Decisions.

Oops... It looks like I've been quite absent lately, I actually intended to write and publish a post for the summer solstice, but a series of events shifted my whole world. I thought I had things under control, but it seems that I am in a moment of change. 

Bridge of Caos, by Derek K. Nielsen

The guy I was "dating" left me. 

At work, my position was made redundant, so I got fired.

I applied for a uni course, after collecting all the required documentation... it got rejected. 

I had nothing. 

I'm guessing that a normal person would have been devastated but I know that everything is interconnected and I hold the view that everything happens for a reason, so I stayed calm, receptive, decentered and open to the energies. 

Maybe it all even was beneficial, perhaps I needed some turmoil to discover my resilience, I think it's good to treasure this kind of lessons, it also built my confidence up, shortly after losing my job I got a few interviews and landed a job. It isn't my dream job but... oh well it pays the bills. 

And then, unexpectantly, I met someone... We got on like a house on fire and things immediately heated up, after just a few days I won't say I'm in love, but now he's gone and I miss him deeply. Could it be that I am hungry for a relationship? 

Anyway, I'm taking all the above as signs and I have made the choice to change my life dramatically by moving to another country. Crazy? I know, but I don't care. 

Only a few people know the truth, I'm trying to keep it to myself for as long as I can. 

Uncertainty scares me.
  

He has shown signs that he likes me, but I've no idea how our relationship will develop, if at all. 

I'm afraid there is no turning back, and I don't know if I'll adapt there...

But still, somehow, I feel cheerful and optimistic on the inside. Weird, isn't it?

Happy Birthday Lirnfi!

Happy Birthday Lirnfi!

Wow 18 already it's hard to believe how time flies! It seems as though it was yesterday that we played that cars were monsters that fed on people to be able to move and had little plush-wars. 

You were always the quiet one, so I'm very happy to see that you've come out of your shell, that you are a little bit more out-there with Julia and I wish you the best with your tattoo artist passion, and though at that age you just want to eat the world and run wild let me advice you that sometimes is a good idea to slow down, to be a bit more centered and share your feelings. 

Even myself, though I'm technically a "man" I'm still a child in many aspects. And I'm starting to think that the moment of realizing that we're not as mature as we though is when we actually start maturing. 

So keep going and believe in yourself as much as I believe in you my darling. Apart from that, I'd also like to say thank you. 

Lirnfi Tubilda. 

Thank you for being a great support like the ground, though you were quiet and sometimes went unnoticed we could really feel  when you weren't there. Every time I think of you I remember the voice of consciousness, your amazing drawings, the days that you used to be my little princess and the amazing day when we could read each other's mind with telepathy! 

You are strong, talented and perceptive. You are on my mind every time I pass by the always green succulent plants, on the red berries of the Yew tree, in the deep blue and in the Tiger's eye crystals. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. 

So basically, happy birthday. But most importantly... Which color do you want your lollipop to be?

Love Spell.

The secrets of Love aren't known by many.

The Love Potion, by Evelyn de Morgan.

You'll feel an eternal thirst,

you'll feel an insatiable hunger,

but you won't know that love

melts and fuses

and feeds and satiates, 

the depths of your heart. 

I'll throw it in the wind, 

and you'll smell the roses.

I'll sing it to the Moon,

and you'll hear my call.

You'll suffer in silence

thinking and wondering

in dreams and nightmares

until our lips find the other's warmth.

Look me in the eye and you'll know Love.  

  

The Powers and Abilities of Your Spirit.

The spirit, the soul, our energy... We talk about those terms frequently but... Up to what point do we actually know what they are, what they do? The spirit bursts in the deepest level of consciousness, it's the capacity to place oneself before the cosmos and  philosophize about the existential features of the human condition, aka, the meaning of life and death, the final destination of the world, why are we here, etc. 

It complements the emotional and the logical aspects of our self and it deepens experiences such as to love another person, to get immersed in a project you are passionate about, and helps to give meaning and sense to our acts.

Mother Earth, by Jaison Cianelli.

In order to get closer to our spiritual self we must understand the powers it grants us, no matter our religious beliefs. The following are a synopsis of the spiritual habilites recognized by what some philosophers, psychologists, and developmental theorists refer to as Spiritual intelligence.

Sense and meaning;

The spirit enables people to seek meaning, since it emerges from the depths of our being as a primary need. But from its experience of being unfinished, the spirit is always searching.

I believe there is an intimate relationship between happiness and meaning, because it directly affects the way of perceiving one's existence. Only a person who has the experience of living his/her everyday  life , in a meaningful way, enjoys a subjective perception of inner well-being.

I thin the fullness of a life depends on how one has used the time he/she has received as a gift.

Questioning Beyond limitations;

The spirit gives power to formulate ultimate questions of existence.

Such as why was I born? What is the point of my existence? What will happen after my death? Why do we suffer? Why do we struggle? What is worth living for? What is worth doing? How should I make sense of my existence? Etc.

The spirit wants to know the WHAT about things.

Taking perspective. Distancing;

It means to separate, to distance oneself, but still be. In doing so, one can see things in perspective, and can see itself from a distance. Only in this way is one able to think for oneself. And then you know that your center is out of this world, that you belong to no-one.

I am in my body. I control and dominate it. At the moment of taking distance, passion advances without limits, pushes fear away and expresses its inner world.

After years of trying to understand this I believe it means to live at a certain distance from the body, just and necessary to not be dominated by it while still being conscious of it and using its energies and possibilities. This power not only distances oneself from the environment, but also from ideas, convictions, beliefs and values. Allowing people to see them in perspective, to question and criticise them, and relegate some of them them if necessary.

I think that the spiritual power of taking distance is the only way to really understand something.

Self-transcendence;

Transcending means going beyond any border, not being a conformist, to keep moving forward.

The power of transcendent expresses a lack but at the same time a hope. This capacity empowers the human being to move towards the unknown. Transcend to open up to new perspectives, it is not the will to colonise or control, but the desire to overcome.

To transcend means, in some way, to shed the banal and the predictable, and to delve into the essential.

We are settled in a place, in circumstances, but at the same time, we aspire to do something that we are not yet, but we believe we can become.

Our nature as human beings evokes transition, a path or itinerary towards what is not yet. It is the motor of human life, the vital impulse that moves you to go beyond, to overcome any limit, to enter new worlds to live fully and intensely, thus enjoying reality in a more intimate way.

Love;

Love is the cause of life and what keeps it moving. Love is the sign and the justification. So love it all.

Laziness? Shake it off. Just strive, make an effort. Nothing more than this. And you will have justified your life. Empower and improve yourself, and you'll have already reformed the world.

The amusement;

It is one thing to exist, another very different thing is to be aware that one exists.

A caterpillar exists, but does it know it does, that it enjoys this wonderful possibility? I don't think it experiences the surprise of existing, nor the vertigo of temporal flow of life.

It is one thing to look, another thing is to admire reality. Which is closely linked to taking distance.

To admire and to be amused are a mental and emotional experience, they affect the corporal and physical but has its root in the spirit.

I thin it is so amazing that when you are aware that you are alive, and may not exist, then is when you recognise the ephemeral nature of one's being. You experience a surprise and you are led to love life and to enjoy it intensely, to turn your being in the world into a project.

And the world ceases to be obvious, banal and known, and we start perceiving it as it is; Deep, mysterious and enigmatic.

To be aware of oneself;

One of the spiritual powers empowers us for self-knowledge, mingling with intrapersonal intelligence; This enables "awakening" and openness. Thus I realise that not only I am and not only I live, I know of my being and my life.

Providing a double opening towards the interior (knowledge of oneself) and to the outside (the knowledge of things).

The human being inhabits a self-aware self and capable of contemplating the world, a free self that, by virtue of its freedom, can configure both its body and its soul.

Assess and value;

The spirit also serves to value. Assess and make value judgements about acts, decisions and omissions. Valuing is about identifying the assets and evils that a particular decision has generated in the past. For this it is basic to weigh, to observe the effects that it has had for oneself and for others.

Values ​​not only motivate progress in the field of knowledge. They are not merely responses of our feelings, but motives in a new sense. They demand a certain position of will.

What I decide at a given moment will determine not only the configuration of the life of that moment, but will be relevant to what I will become.

I find very curious how any decision creates a willingness to make a similar decision again. In this way that I become "( a violinist, an athlete, a doctor...)", or not, is something that is in the hands of my own freedom.

The call of values ​​comes through the spirit and this moves us to explore unknown territories and to perform amazing movements. This shows that the human being is an open work, a being that has the possibility of finishing himself.

To sense beauty;

A spiritually sensitive being finds delight in natural beauty, artistic manifestations and the simplicity of small things. It is able to detect beauty and enjoy it without pretending to possess it. It contemplates deeply the expressions of beauty that appear in reality, which allows him to enjoy more intensely the fact of owning life.

Happy Birthday Ierai and Eure!

Happy Birthday! 

Being the oldest of seven siblings I like to celebrate birthdays with a theme, before moving to the UK I got my siblings a pendant of their special crystal. This is a special post to my twin sisters, as it is their birthday today. I think I will adopt this as a new custom so you'll better start looking forward to me barging about how much I love my siblings!

I think we are pretty privileged in a way, as we are all quite close to each other but in a weird way I have kind of envied the relationship they have within the two of them. When they were little they had the most crazy fights! They would bit and punch each other in a violent rampage, yet if five minutes later somebody dared say something even slightly or reminiscently offensive, the other sister would jump to her feet and confront the offender without hesitation. 

I think we have shared some of the most special moments of our life together. We have shared our first love stories and concerns, invented games and dreamed together and spent countless hours sheltered under our sheets while we talked and giggled way past bed time. 

We always though that when we grew up we would all live together in grandma's house. Those dreams kinda got crushed by life, I mean... we all know now that the future is uncertain, but no matter where we are or what is going on in our lives I am certain, we will always remain close.

I don't want to just wish them a happy 19th birthday, but also I want so say thank you!

Ierai Tubilda

Ierai, thank you for being the fire that lights up the darkness, you have always been the mature one. Every time I think of you I remember your beautiful writing, the days we spent singing and casting love spells by the olive tree and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us! You are confident, strong, cheerful and vital. 

You are on my mind every time I walk by an Oak tree, every time I smell or use the Rosemary on my garden, you are in the turquoise stones and in the colour orange. I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. 

Eure Tubilda

Eure, thank you for being the wind that lifts our wings, you have always been the sensible one. I love your sense of justice and how you always try to bring sense to our group, like the time when you were the only one that told me off when I though it was a good idea to venture barefoot into the streets. You are empathetic, courageous and impartial, as well as a free spirit. 

You are on my mind every time the wind blows and the willows sway, and every time the lavender plants bloom. You are in the amethysts crystals and in the colour purple. I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. 

I am very proud of the women you're turning to. Enjoy your last year as teens girls, it doesn't get any less awkward in your twenties anyways. But still... see you very soon!

With love, Darius.  

Siblinghood. I Carry Your Heart, I Carry it in My Heart.

Do you have any siblings? Coming from a large family I realise how the relationship I have with them is unique. 

It is almost like a silent presence that connect us, the following poem by E. E. Cummings expresses what I am trying to say in a much more beautiful way. Hope you enjoy it:

2016 Holidays 

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere

I go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

I fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)

Lessons Learned About Love, Sex and Relationships.

Love, oh love... As the song goes: All you Need is Love! Everybody wants to be loved, to find that someone special. And yet we know very little about love and everything that comes with it: sex, relationships and romance. How come something so vital, something as basic as love isn't taught in schools?

I believe, if we had more information, everybody would enjoy better, healthier, relationships. Redundant as it might sound, I love love and anything that symbolises it, rose quartz is my signature crystal and I always liked the Greek Goddess of love Aphrodite, named Venus for the Romans. So it's a subject I enjoy getting my hands on.

The Birth of Venus, by Sandro Botticelli

First of all, before looking for someone to live with and start a relationship, I consider essential to know yourself first. And once we are well with ourselves we will have more chances to find someone to build something together. In my opinion, there is a mass false belief that exposes that we are halves who need another being to be complete and happy, that we must find our other-half in order to feel fulfilled. I honestly think such a theory is absurd. It creates feelings of dependence in your partner which can easily lead to anxiety and stress. Each of us are whole and complete people, and are able to be perfectly happy without a partner. One of my youngest sisters (she will turn 17 on September) is quite worried about never finding a partner... Actually, looking back on my teens I felt the same way. Perhaps influenced by the impact the media has over us, or maybe because in the olden times the life expectancy was much shorter and thus people had to have children at a younger age (Romeo and Juliet were 15 and 13 respectively). So let me share some of my experiences concerning love and the things I've learned over these years;

Have you ever fallen in love? I have. The first time; I was 14. I could lose myself in his eyes, and listen to him all day long. He was the first person I though of in the morning and the last one before going to sleep... He was a straight friend from high school, so nothing really happened between us...

But I learned that it is very important to be true to yourself and to let go, despite how painful and difficult it might be, when facing unrequited love. 

Not long from that I met the first guy who ever asked me out, I wasn't interested though. But instead of being clear I played around with him just to get attention, which I regret doing now. I have learned that a clear no. Is much better than a diffuse response or ghosting someone. 

I was 15 when I engaged in my first formal relationship and had my first kiss. It was awful by the way; Really slimy and oppressive. For a good kiss, I think it is important to make sure the other person knows what your intentions are, looking at someones mouth and getting close to their face is a good way to do that. Approach him/her a 90% and let the other person do the 10% left. When it comes to the actual kiss, just go with the flow. Experiment, and be honest, get to know yourself and your partner to find out what you both enjoy the most. 

He was the best-friend of the previous guy (uncomfortable I know) whom talked trash about me, and eventually he cheated on me...

I felt hurt, and lonely so I started going out with the first guy who paid any attention to me. I didn't even liked him on the first place, he did some really weird stuff with a Pikachu plush... and he dumped me once he found out I am a witch. This short, but intense, relationship taught me two major lessons. The first one: never neglect your standards and don't start a relationship out of spite. And second: It is much better to be alone than in bad company. 

Then, at age 16, I met a Spanish journalist, if I remember properly I believe he was 22 at the time. We dated for a year but it was mostly carnal. He was nice to me, but whenever I proposed to do something a bit more romantic he would excuse himself saying he was busy. In our anniversary I got him a poem book I knew he'd like and he got me some lubricant so that we could have even more sex. That was the limit for me and I confronted him about it. He confessed he was only interested in engaging in sexual intercourse. So I broke up with him, I realised how important communication is in a relationship... if only we would have talked about it earlier!

A month before my 18th birthday I met my, to this date, longest partner, he was 25 and despite his obscure and troubled past he had managed to learn five different languages, had a stable job and didn't fell into addictions or depression. He has a very strong and charismatic personality that made me admire him and at the same time he is so vulnerable, I loved taking care of him. And just a week later, I moved in with him. The place wasn't anything extraordinary but it felt like a palace to me. We burned steps way too quickly but even though our relationship lasted around 4 years we were not compatible on some key aspects that would injured the relationship on the long run. We were practically married, I truly believed we would always be together. But no matter what we tried the relationship didn't work. We were just not right for each other. I have learned that we cannot compromise our future emotions and, that in order to to make a healthy, long term, relationship work love isn't enough. It is important to know the character of the other person to know if we are compatible. And if the characters are compatible, it is necessary to have as referents some values in common, so that the coexistence is simpler in the long run, discussing things that are part of our way of thinking will only create remorse and build negative feelings. Sex compatibility is also important, good sex helps build and maintain couples. Having a good sexual relationship, usually leads to consider a more continuous relationship. And most importantly, to have a common project. Sharing experiences is essential for a couple. I believe living in harmony is not only sailing in the same boat, but paddling in the same direction.

Irrational Feelings, a Not So Sweet Valentine.

Why are feelings so complicated sometimes?
My rational side doesn't really understands it. But I must confess I feel envy and jealousy for happy couples... Not in a negative way of course,  I feel happy for them. But still...
Does it have something to do with Valentine's day? Maybe. Though, it's actually about a specific guy I kind of have a crush on. I believed I was over him... I guess I was wrong.

Goodbye, my almos lover, a Fine Frenzy.

Still I don't understand my feelings,  I met him during my holidays. We loved each other only for a night.
He recently said he remembers my fingertips across his skin, my singing voice and my...
I have been going on a few dates lately and, with him, I actually felt a connection, do you know that feeling of wanting to get to know someone better? I do believe it was a reciprocal emotion. Which only makes it all that much more disappointing that we never had an actual chance to do so as we live in different countries,

We kind of kept in touch for a while, he charmed me with his seducing words and his broad smile, and I used to record some songs for him.

Now he has another lover, another boyfriend. I do think it's the best though,  I don't believe in long distance relationships and I wish them both the best. But yet... Is it normal the sorrow and envy I am experiencing?  That I wake up in the morning with the memory of him on the back of my mind. So... He is gone and yet I am hunted and I bet he's just fine...

Anyway. I know everything will be alright, at least eventually. I guess the bright side to this is that I got to contemplate and accept some emotions. Literary everybody thinks of me as a very cheerful person, I am. But not constantly. In fact I have always struggled when it comes to negative emotions. I don't think repressing or ignoring them is healthy so... Well I am working on it. :)

The Art of Losing isn't Hard to Master.

I have lost many things, my favorite crystal,  my red notebook... I have lost a friend,  a lover, even the future I once hoped for...
But as my best friend and I think. Sometimes this things in life aren't mistakes, but lessons.
The following poem by Elizabeth Bishop is one of my favorites, and to me it represents exactly that.

Daisies in a Paintbucket, by Elizabeth Bishop

ONE ART
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
So many things seem filled with the intent
To be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther,  losing faster:
Places, and names, and what it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I've lost my mother's watch. And look!
my last,
or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
 I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master .
Though it might look like (Write it!)
like disaster.

Questions To Fall In Love With Anyone.

I found this lovely article on the New York Times about "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love" since I'm single I found it very interesting so I've decided to answer some of the questions to see if any of you fall in love ;)  -aka nice, out of the closet, round my age guys apply here-.

If you'd like to read the article, please find it on the link below. 

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
I'd love the chance to dine with Cameron Diaz, she has been my favourite actress since... well always actually!

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Of course it would be nice to become famous due to the recognition of my work or my contributions to the world. Basically I would love to be "Nobel Price Famous" but not "Kim Kardashian Famous" if you know what I mean.  

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

No, I don't. I actually go with my gut, just follow my instinct. If I rehearse it makes me feel like is something complicated (otherwise I would not be rehearsing, right?) and that makes me nervous.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
I'd wake up very early from a great night sleep and without an alarm. Have a lot of nice fresh water, breakfast and morning sex. Then a shower, and breakfast again. 

It would probably be just a chilled, relaxed day. Perhaps going to the beach would be nice and lie under the sun with a book and a snack!
Add some working out, a good movie, some work done, adding some extra pages for my book, and having my lemony salmon with a salad for lunch,.. and I'd be happy, happy. 

And  to finish off the day, an early dinner with my friends with a lot of good conversation and extra laughter! 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I sing, literally, every other five minutes of every single day,. Everywhere; at work, on the bus, in the shower, on my way home, while cooking... you name it! 

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Why not both? But if I have to chose I guess probably the body, because if you have a healthy young brain... I believe my mind would be fine too... Right?  

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No I don't, I don't really think of death much to be fair, hahahaha

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Life itself. But specially that I have been born in Europe and not in some fucked up place like North Korea...

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
I would definitely add more discipline, not too much, but more.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Healing powers.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
I would ask it to tell me what I am supposed to know, and what would be beneficial to me and others.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
I'm want to write a book, still working on it. And I want to start a family and get a nice, eco-friendly house with a big garden!

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Maybe realising I can be independent and being true to myself day after day.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Loving each other as we are. Transparency and being there always, not only in the good times.

17. What is your most treasured memory?
Probably the first Full Moon ritual my sisters and I performed. 

18. What is your most terrible memory?
Fighting with my ex.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
Yes, I would stop investing time and effort in all my long term projects and I'd go a bit nuts!

20. What does friendship mean to you?
Friendship is acceptance without judgement, is being able to share your secrets.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
As Lloyd Irving would say; Kindness and Love always win! So they play a pretty important role.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
I think I am very lucky to have the family I have got, of course not everything is pink flowers, but I would not change them for the world! Yes, I think mine was a happy childhood with a lot of freedom.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
I feel that I can tell anything to her, so pretty good I guess.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

my life with...

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
I was around ten, and I had a faecal incident (aka I shitted my pants) and I thought I could put it back in, and poop it out in the toilet. My grandma could not believe it!

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Watching Annie with my younger sister. 

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Delicate subjects like racism, homophobia, sexism, terminal illnesses...

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
I would not regret anything,

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Definitely the "magic notebooks" my sisters and I wrote as kids, those notebooks are irreplaceable.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Any of my siblings, I'm older than them. I should die before them.

So that is it... so... do you love me yet? ;)

When It Feels Like Home.

Home is where the heart is. When I was little I used to dream about the house I grew up in all the time. I wish I could go there more often, once a year is just not enough. Strangely, I feel the essence of my home, sometimes, around me. Which helps me cope with the distance and, while trying to define what that essence is, it has revealed where some of my values come from.

Home feels like:

Sunshine and a Clear Sky, 

The refreshing breeze, and the sound of tree leaves shaking on the wind,

As well as that ding-dang-ding-dong of my Grandmother's wall clock.

Home is that easy going Saturday morning feeling of worry-free state of mind,

It's doing, thinking, inventing, sharing, playing, exploring and starting.

Home is on the garden plants, on the stones, on the candles, on the dried medicinal herbs, on the books and notebooks and on the Olive and Almond trees. 

Home smells like Rosemary, Lemon and Peppermint,

It tastes of nifea (yogurt with nuts, fruit and honey), of fresh tomatoes, lettuce and cucumbers, of homemade french fries, chicken soup, gazpacho and chocolate bar's baguettes.

Home sounds of laughter, it is loud and crowded but in a good way. It's singing till late in the garden as well as the quiet, calm sounds of silence. 

Home is gathering on a stormy day to watch the lightning bolts,

to share secrets in a dark room lit only by candles,

Home is to dance under the rain, to contemplate the sunset and

to sit around a circle on every full moon night. 

Home is where the heart is, so if you ever feel lost, close your eyes and focus on your heartbeat, on the strength of the earth beneath your feet. Focus on your breath, on the air around you. An then you will know. So tell me, 

Where do you Belong?