Questions To Fall In Love With Anyone.

I found this lovely article on the New York Times about "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love" since I'm single I found it very interesting so I've decided to answer some of the questions to see if any of you fall in love ;)  -aka nice, out of the closet, round my age guys apply here-.

If you'd like to read the article, please find it on the link below. 

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
I'd love the chance to dine with Cameron Diaz, she has been my favourite actress since... well always actually!

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Of course it would be nice to become famous due to the recognition of my work or my contributions to the world. Basically I would love to be "Nobel Price Famous" but not "Kim Kardashian Famous" if you know what I mean.  

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

No, I don't. I actually go with my gut, just follow my instinct. If I rehearse it makes me feel like is something complicated (otherwise I would not be rehearsing, right?) and that makes me nervous.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
I'd wake up very early from a great night sleep and without an alarm. Have a lot of nice fresh water, breakfast and morning sex. Then a shower, and breakfast again. 

It would probably be just a chilled, relaxed day. Perhaps going to the beach would be nice and lie under the sun with a book and a snack!
Add some working out, a good movie, some work done, adding some extra pages for my book, and having my lemony salmon with a salad for lunch,.. and I'd be happy, happy. 

And  to finish off the day, an early dinner with my friends with a lot of good conversation and extra laughter! 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I sing, literally, every other five minutes of every single day,. Everywhere; at work, on the bus, in the shower, on my way home, while cooking... you name it! 

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Why not both? But if I have to chose I guess probably the body, because if you have a healthy young brain... I believe my mind would be fine too... Right?  

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No I don't, I don't really think of death much to be fair, hahahaha

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Life itself. But specially that I have been born in Europe and not in some fucked up place like North Korea...

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
I would definitely add more discipline, not too much, but more.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Healing powers.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
I would ask it to tell me what I am supposed to know, and what would be beneficial to me and others.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
I'm want to write a book, still working on it. And I want to start a family and get a nice, eco-friendly house with a big garden!

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Maybe realising I can be independent and being true to myself day after day.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Loving each other as we are. Transparency and being there always, not only in the good times.

17. What is your most treasured memory?
Probably the first Full Moon ritual my sisters and I performed. 

18. What is your most terrible memory?
Fighting with my ex.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
Yes, I would stop investing time and effort in all my long term projects and I'd go a bit nuts!

20. What does friendship mean to you?
Friendship is acceptance without judgement, is being able to share your secrets.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
As Lloyd Irving would say; Kindness and Love always win! So they play a pretty important role.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
I think I am very lucky to have the family I have got, of course not everything is pink flowers, but I would not change them for the world! Yes, I think mine was a happy childhood with a lot of freedom.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
I feel that I can tell anything to her, so pretty good I guess.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

my life with...

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
I was around ten, and I had a faecal incident (aka I shitted my pants) and I thought I could put it back in, and poop it out in the toilet. My grandma could not believe it!

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Watching Annie with my younger sister. 

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Delicate subjects like racism, homophobia, sexism, terminal illnesses...

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
I would not regret anything,

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Definitely the "magic notebooks" my sisters and I wrote as kids, those notebooks are irreplaceable.

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Any of my siblings, I'm older than them. I should die before them.

So that is it... so... do you love me yet? ;)

In Search for Happiness.

At 9, visiting the acuarium.

When people talk about their objectives or goals in life, most will say something like "I just want to be happy". A lot of people want to become happy; to find happiness, and no matter what they do it always seems far away. This is because happiness is not something you need to get or win. What joy can exist in the present if you can always get a better car, better clothes, be fitter, have a better job, better relationships, etc. So happiness is always away, always in the future. 

Happiness is something you feel, it's within you, here, now. In the present.

Happiness as defined by science, is the absence of serious genetic deformations. Poets think it is beauty itself and philosophers define it as the absence of pain and/or fear. But let's not forget happiness' true nature. An emotion. 

By defining happiness as an emotion, I am suggesting that, like all emotions, it is ephemeral and therefore the first person to reach unhappiness will be the one who intends to be happy all the time. We must change our conscious attitude toward emotions.  We continue to think that happiness or unhappiness, joy and misfortune depend on others. When I believe that the secret of happiness lies within ourselves.

We can actually create more suffering in our lives by trying to avoid or suppress difficult emotions. As the Buddha said "Life is suffering". It sounds horrible I know, but life is not just suffering! It's also wonderful! Personally, I think the Buddha's philosophy is a reminder that life is not, and should't be just easy, comfortable and pain free. We need to accept  that death, heartbreaking, frustration, sickness, disappointment and fear are also a part of life. 

Try to embrace imperfection, to let go of this belief that life should be a certain way. Open your heart to uncertainty. Since I started to do that I don't fight or ignore negative emotions anymore, instead I embrace them, because I know that they are here now, but that they will go. And it's also a healing experience that makes happiness and all the other positive emotions all that much better. And the end result is peace, which stays with me always present, Even when underlined by the chaos of all my emotions.

Being Healthy is Easy if you know How.

Is it weird that I am so into health and well-being at age 22? For some reason literally every single person I meet gives me a curious look, or a whispered wow. So I am going to explain the foundations of a healthy life to demonstrate how easy it is to be healthy.

As the lovely actress, model and writer Cameron Diaz states on her book "The Longevity Book"; the best way to live fully is to live healthfully. So the first thing you need to be healthier is information. Let's start by defining what health is, the answer is very simple. Health is the natural state of any living being and disease is the consequence of a rupture of that natural harmony. And to recover it and/or maintain the health you have to do something very easy; To start you must have the will to do it. A healthy life is the one that puts the means to support the natural resources and defences of the organism in order to keep us in balance. Being healthy is basically doing all the things we love doing! Eating (Nutrition), Resting (Sleeping), Interacting with others (Socialising), Moving (an Active life, Fitness) Creating (project/career you are passionate about) the environment (in and outside our home) and Managing stress (meditation, hobbies, contact with nature...). Whenever you do any of those things the benefits are practically miraculous, and aid your organism at all levels; body, mind and spirit. It is also important to realise that being healthy will not make you invincible, some people justify their unhealthy habits by stating that being healthy doesn't warranty a long life. And of course it doesn't. But it increases the odds. A healthy lifestyle will definitely reduce the symptoms and or duration of any ailments you might experience, or even prevent them from occurring on the first place.

Health is not about unpleasant tasteless food or sacrifice and repression. The truth is that health is about habit, knowledge and gratefulness.

Knowledge because a good health implies knowing the origin and the effects of the food we eat and our actions, once acquired this new knowledge something that used to be a delicious treat, reveals its true colours, and becomes something unacceptable, pure poison.

Gratefulness because, if everyone were truly grateful, wars, conflicts and hatred would disappear. Because when you are thankful for your life, you also appreciate the life of others. And inevitably you stop punishing and poisoning. You respect your own body, your mind, your spirit. You respect nature, you respect the world and all the creatures that inhabit it. Because you thank the gift of life. And thanks to something as simple as being grateful, harmony begins to invade you.

Story Time; The Intergalactic Portal.

The following story is probably one my siblings and I have retelled many times due to its exciting and unsuspected nature, hope you enjoy it:

So we must have been in our early teens when this happened. It was late evening after dinner, Friday or Saturday cause grams didn't tell us off for not being asleep.

It was a clear night sky, very quiet and calm. Silence was only interrupted by our excited chatter. All of us were cosily curled up in bed, talking about magic, adventures, other worlds... Probably inspired by some movie or TV show. We all had something to say about it. "Imagine how cool it would be to fight monsters and save the world". "And surely we would be granted powers, one does not simply travel to another dimension without gaining superpowers." We were just barging about it. "Oh, and would't you be scared of the bad guys and the evil creatures?". "No, no way! I would cross the portal without thinking it twice."

Microcosmic Portal by Debra Jacobson

And then it happened. Right after I finished my bold sentence, a very weird buzzing noise caught us by surprise. It can't be... can it? We all looked towards the corner of the room the noise was coming from and we literally froze. Alongside the noise, a bizarre sparkling red light took our breaths away. For a minute or two we did nothing, just look at each others eyes in disbelief, or stare towards the weird, noisy, quivering red light. Wondering what it could be. Was it really an Intergalactic Portal?

As I am the oldest I felt it was my responsibility to go on and be the first to approach the mysterious source. The youngest of my sisters gasped with anguish. My heart was pumping hard against my chest, but I was determined. I slid out of the bed slowly, and started walking towards the corner of the room very carefully, my sisters following behind me. 

As I approached, the sparkly noisy light was getting louder and more intense. Magnifying my fear and expectations.

When I was right in front of it, I yelled! I could not believe it!
"What is it?". Asked my sisters at the same time.
"Come and look by yourselves."

And there we were, standing astonished with mixed feelings of relief and disappointment. The magic, mysterious buzzing light was coming from a broken electric extension with a switch!  
We turned off the current, laughed our hearts out, and kept looking at each other without needing to articulate any words. We all new what was going through our minds.

It might not have been an incredible trip to another dimension, but it was lucky we were awake or the room could have burned down, those were some pretty huge sparks!

We Belong to Nature.

It's so sad that one can no longer enjoy a casual picnic at the park or meditate by the sea without encountering litter everywhere. It is unnerving that the world’s predominant view is based around economy and convenience, instead of being formed around life and the one thing that nourishes it: Nature. As it seems logical and natural to me. 

Lupines at Sunset by Paul Crimi

Despite the materialistic perspective that our capitalist culture has instilled in us, we do not own nature at all. In fact, we belong to nature. However, the idea of ​​domination has prevailed in the minds of people for a long time, to the extreme point that we have found ourselves denatured, lost and with a feeling of permanent solitude. Perhaps the most revealing prove of our society's ethical criteria is its relationship to Nature. For example, as geologist Alick Bartholomew points out in his book The Story of Water: "Water has become one of the most effervescent products in the exchange of commodities. To consider Nature as mere "resources" at our disposal to use them as we please is infamous and immoral, as treating water as a commodity or claiming the ownership and patenting of seeds. Water, plants, animals, soil and minerals are much more than inorganic compounds - or organic, in the case of fauna and flora - they are the essence of all things, they are drivers of evolution; they invigorate, energise and empower all forms of life."

Believe supported by the Gaia theory, developed by the American scientist James Lovelock, is that through the cycles of the elements mother nature acts as a great organism. So, if the elements were inert substances, as taught by the current vision, there would be no exchange of energy, therefore making vital processes such as the photosynthesis impossible. 

To understand the above is primordial, as it is the first step to returning to our innate relationship with Nature. There is an increasing awareness for the need to "save the planet," though reality is humanity is the one that needs saving. The environmental impact of humans on earth was accelerated by the discovery of petrol and the Industrial Revolution. Due to a society motivated by domination and competitiveness, which considers itself as an isolated fragment of the environment. And sees nature as an unlimited source of resources. 

Economic growth, unsustainable consumption, acceleration of industrialisation and urbanisation have caused serious damaging impacts on the planet. This increases certain natural catastrophes such as; droughts, floods, desertification, etc. If we continue with our current lifestyle humanity will be doomed. The UN states that by 2030, our health and quality of life will be severely impacted if the contamination and pollution levels remain above the established limits. 

Long story short, returning to our innate alignment with nature is basic and key to life. 

Only through education and a healthy relationship with nature we will be able to rebuild the foundation of a prosperous future in an ecological, economic and social framework. In conclusion, we will remember our innate ability to be one with nature, feel cosmic and with personal energy. This will open the door to a more just, richer and healthier world. 

In my opinion, the best way to achieve this is to connect with our immediate environment. Going out to the park or to a nearby forest to study native trees, learn about local wildlife or the star constellations… to get in touch with our environment. The goal is to know a natural place not only mentally, but integrally. Keep in mind that “to know” is not as half as important as “to feel”. If objective data are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, emotions and impressions are, instead, the fertile soil in which the seeds grow. I recommend you to read and inform yourself about the one thing that is keeping you alive, it is only in your hands to approach and bind yourself to Nature in the only possible way: entering it and feeling it both inside and outside you.

Getting to Know Myself: Peaceful, Trusting and Cheerful.

Who am I? It's a question most of us, sooner or later, will probably ask ourselves. In my culture it's important to know yourself but at the same time to be able to transcend our Ego and its limitations for we are all and nothing. A bit confusing... I know. 

Anyway, I dug in some personality theories and test and I really enjoyed Carl Jung's colour personality model.

I am definitely Earth Green. Which one resonates with you? In addition to that I also got some astonishing accurate results on a personality test. I usually just take part on those for fun, just to see what they come up with, but I was honestly surprised this time so I am going to share the details with you!

"You experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy.

"You fit in the Teacher personality trait. Teachers are emotionally balanced, which means that they are less prone to depression and are able to cope well with feelings of anxiety, anger and vulnerability. With a good sense of social awareness, they tend to be outgoing and enthusiastic, with a tendency in groups to talk and assert themselves. 

The Teacher enjoys a good balance between the real world and fantasy, they are mostly aware of and in touch with their emotions. Being open-minded to new and unusual ideas helps them to interact with the world. With a sense of social responsibility and a general trust in others, Teachers are often seen as sincere and generous. 

However, the Teacher generally has good self discipline and is recognized as being able to plan and think ahead."

"You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry, however you often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You are a moderately imaginative person who enjoys a good balance between the real world and fantasy. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgements based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy.

You are well-organised and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans."

"You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some. You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry. You very rarely feel depressed and are usually in a good frame of mind. You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you. You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in. You are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed."

"Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. You have good access to and awareness of your own feelings. You are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. You find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. As a person who is open-minded to new and unusual ideas, you love to play with and think about ideas. You also like to debate intellectual issues and often enjoy riddles, puzzles and brain teasers. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking."

"You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfilment rather than self-sacrifice. You feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people."

"You believe that you have the intelligence, common sense, drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. You are well-organised and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. Mostly you work towards achieving your best, although in some areas you are content just to get the job done. You have a reasonable amount of will-power and are able to follow through on tasks that you feel you need to complete. You can be distracted however and have been known to procrastinate. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives."

I do believe that we are changing, growing, evolving...  all the time. But right now I do resonate with these descriptions, of course not all of it is good, but being aware of your weak points and facing them is the only way to start working on them, and eventually, growing out of them. 

So that is why I think contemplation and self-analysis are important for self growth and I encourage you to do the same. :)

When It Feels Like Home.

Home is where the heart is. When I was little I used to dream about the house I grew up in all the time. I wish I could go there more often, once a year is just not enough. Strangely, I feel the essence of my home, sometimes, around me. Which helps me cope with the distance and, while trying to define what that essence is, it has revealed where some of my values come from.

Home feels like:

Sunshine and a Clear Sky, 

The refreshing breeze, and the sound of tree leaves shaking on the wind,

As well as that ding-dang-ding-dong of my Grandmother's wall clock.

Home is that easy going Saturday morning feeling of worry-free state of mind,

It's doing, thinking, inventing, sharing, playing, exploring and starting.

Home is on the garden plants, on the stones, on the candles, on the dried medicinal herbs, on the books and notebooks and on the Olive and Almond trees. 

Home smells like Rosemary, Lemon and Peppermint,

It tastes of nifea (yogurt with nuts, fruit and honey), of fresh tomatoes, lettuce and cucumbers, of homemade french fries, chicken soup, gazpacho and chocolate bar's baguettes.

Home sounds of laughter, it is loud and crowded but in a good way. It's singing till late in the garden as well as the quiet, calm sounds of silence. 

Home is gathering on a stormy day to watch the lightning bolts,

to share secrets in a dark room lit only by candles,

Home is to dance under the rain, to contemplate the sunset and

to sit around a circle on every full moon night. 

Home is where the heart is, so if you ever feel lost, close your eyes and focus on your heartbeat, on the strength of the earth beneath your feet. Focus on your breath, on the air around you. An then you will know. So tell me, 

Where do you Belong?

A Night's Reflection.

I'm happy that I am alive, and grateful that I'm free. And capable of doing, and feeling, and thinking.

But I have found myself in a changing phase, which I don't like, and I'm unstable… That sounds quite harsh but although I’m 21, and I’m supposed to be a fully grown capable human being… I still feel like a child in many aspects. Many parts of my mind, emotions and body remain a complete mystery to me…

Starry Night, by Vincent Van Gogh

But then I wonder.... Aren't we always changing, evolving... Well I've been through a lot of challenging and difficult things lately, I guess it's normal for me not to be so good... OMG I don’t know. It looks as though every time I try and I’m about to fulfil the requirements that I now consider valuable something happens. Which leaves me unable to proceed… Does this mean that I’m weak? Or is it just normal? Should I keep pushing, even though it might hurt?

I think I'm just afraid of not succeeding, and that is why I don't take a step forwards... Maybe I'm just tired... But tired of what? And why am I tired? I'm young! I shouldn't be. Right? But I know I have to do it, to study hard, finish my book, find a better job, get to university, find love and real friends. And I know that if I don't do it I will never respect myself.

And here I am, at 22;45pm, my room is all messy, and I feel like I want but I don't and I don't know.... Hahahaha that doesn't make any sense...

Anyway, I guess that admitting you have got a problem is the first step towards improvement. And now I face the fact that I don't really know what my problem is. As I'm writing this I'm thinking... maybe it's due to a trauma from the past... But a second thought immediately suppressed the first one. "It doesn't matter who or what is to blame. The only important thing is to find a solution !"

I’ve decided to take it slowly, I mean to work persistently though I might fail sometimes, without losing track, without being mad, without punishing myself. I hope I’ll grow, I desire to find peace and balance within myself….

Oh well I hope I'm not bothering you by opening my mind to you.... It just helps me... Good night. :)